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 Post subject: Re: Living in America
PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 4:43 am 
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One Star Hooker
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Maybe I should post a thread called "Living in Mexico"... since I'm pretty much already there. I live in the really hardcore mexican area of the city where stores and billboards are in Spanish, kind of makes me wish I paid more attention in those F.L. classes... but seriously as soon as I can land a better job I am getting the hell out of here.

ps I really don't do daytime court TV... it's got this weird power where as soon as it starts, you literally can't leave and you must see how it turns out, no matter what, even though you don't know the people nor does it effect you in the slightest.

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 Post subject: Re: Living in America
PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 7:14 am 
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John Layfield wrote:
- Does everyone in this damn country have herpes? There are herpes commercials about 50 times a day. "I have herpes" "And I don't" UGH! Why advertise herpes treatment? If someone has herpes, they're going to want treatment without a shitty commercial.

These commercials have found their way into drinking games I play regularly.

"Remember, before you drink, you have to rub your nipples and say "I have herpes!" in your worst British accent!"

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 Post subject: Re: Living in America
PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 7:55 am 
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Well you know there's business when even I get American commercials, although somehow that doesn't seem as surprising as it probably should.

Of course, I do adore the ads which try to be witty, "let us talk about handbags and shopping... *brief pause* now that the men are out of the room let me tell you about vaginal thrush..."

I have noticed however that I'm getting spammed by advertisements from the "University of Phoenix", 25 emails in the space of the minute is a bit much I think.


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 Post subject: Re: Living in America
PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 10:08 am 
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Have any of you seen the colon cleanser infomercial? The creepy John Waters-esque guy talks about seeing his daughter's poop in the toilet and, after seeing it's longer than his, he realizes something is wrong with him.

...Yeah.


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 Post subject: Re: Living in America
PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 12:19 pm 
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Kage
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Reason number 55 to deal with our herpes ridden litigious asses: James Brown
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBpC9EkKFsQ&feature=related

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 Post subject: Re: Living in America
PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 3:51 pm 
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DHerder222 wrote:
Have any of you seen the colon cleanser infomercial? The creepy John Waters-esque guy talks about seeing his daughter's poop in the toilet and, after seeing it's longer than his, he realizes something is wrong with him.


I think that's Klee Irwin, no doubt a major factor in the creation of Ridiculous Infomercial Review. Almighty Cleanse vs. Dual Action Cleanse: FIGHT!

Canada only seems to get the Magic Bullet infomercial.

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 Post subject: Re: Living in America
PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 3:58 pm 
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What about the old 'Diabeetus' guy? He's standing by the fire place waiting for them to start rolling. He then moves towards the camera, adjusts his pants (which is not a pretty sight, trust me) so that he can sit down on the couch and begins his speech.

"Do you have diabeetus? Well your medicare might cover your testing supplies blahblablah"

That guy is a riot.


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 Post subject: Re: Living in America
PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 4:03 pm 
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Kage
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"It's the greatest piece of technology that you will ever PEE ON!"

This was a commercial for a pregnancy test that aired last year. It was the most hilarious ad that I think I have or ever will see. Since then, it has been edited.

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 Post subject: Re: Living in America
PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 4:04 pm 
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PS Kevin Trudeau is my hero.


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 Post subject: Re: Living in America
PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 6:26 pm 
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Darko wrote:
"Do you have diabeetus? Well your medicare might cover your testing supplies blahblablah"

That guy is a riot.


That's Wilford Brimley, he used to be an actor back in the day.

Although Family Guy's spoof of him was alot funnier than the commercials. "I have diabeetus, yesterday I stubbed my toe and took it out on the dog. Then earlier today my oatmeal was cold and I struck my wife. Then later I remember my wife has been dead for six years. Who the hell did I hit?"

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 Post subject: Re: Living in America
PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 6:31 pm 
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Kage
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Kevin Trudeau is awesome.

But you know what would be even more awesome? Kevin Trudeau and Arthur P. Johnson doing an informercial together.

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 Post subject: Re: Living in America
PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 7:47 pm 
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Three Star Warrior
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Been mugged yet?

Had to ask. :P


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 Post subject: Re: Living in America
PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 10:51 pm 
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Black Dragon Lord
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John Layfield wrote:
- Too many commercials! You have one literally right after the opening credits, one-two more in the middle of the show, one before the closing segment and credits and then another one after that! Fuck you, TV.


Don't you have just the one commercial break in the middle of 1/2 hour shows? I know that's how it is in many parts of the world. NZ is stupid in that regard though, we have 2 sets of ads every half hour, and during movies they start off infrequent but by the end they're back to ads every 5 min just because they know you want to see the ending.

Bastards.

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 Post subject: Re: Living in America
PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 11:09 pm 
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In Ireland, the old country, we have one in the middle of a 30 minute show and one after it.

Here, in a 30 minute block it usually goes like this.

Opening Credits
Commercials
Opening Act
Commercials
Middle Act
Commercials
Closing Act
Commercials
End Credits (MAYBE with a very short 'final thought' style ending before it)
Commercials

And repeat.

In Ireland it would be...

Opening Credits
Opening Act
Middle Act 1
Commercials
Middle Act 2
Closing Act
End Credits
Commercials

Fuck North American TV. No wonder everyone has ADD.


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 Post subject: Re: Living in America
PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 11:13 pm 
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Kage
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You know what's weird? When I lived in Korea, I actually missed American commercials. They couldn't air them because they were so damn expensive and we instead got Korean commercials or PSA's. After being without them for so long (and the shows were dated by a year or so), it began to gnaw at my psyche.

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